But your just a woman?

My afternoon with Princess Anne lived up to every glorious expectation. Myself and our VSO crew arrived early eagerly anticipating free food and drink and we were not disappointed. The High Commissioners garden had been decked out with union jack bunting and flags. Waiters circulated and there were enough drinks stations that you never had to queue. It was like being in England but 38 degrees. Canapés started to circulate and i feasted on rare roast beef belinis -Zambians cook meat until it is so tough you can only eat it with your hands so this was a treat- not as big a treat as a mini savoury scone with brie and fig on it. A Zambian acapello group sang away in the back ground until the guest of honour arrived. At this point the singers sang the Zambian national anthem and then an intriguing version of the British national anthem. So much so that Princess Anne with a wry smile mentioned she had not heard a version like that before.

After speeches those of us who were to be introduced were herded into horse shoe shapes as she moved down the line to meet everyone. There is something quite humorous about talking to HRH about turd, as I explained my role to her. It is not a situation I thought I would ever be in. She seemed fairly amused and interested in what I was doing. After our formal duty of meeting the VSO patron we enjoyed the free bar until asked to leave. As much as I love Zambia it felt fabulous celebrating the Royal Jubilee in style and just being British. Being away from home seems to have made me very patriotic.

On a British note I have been becoming more and more aware of the huge gender gap here in this country and the huge differences between how girls are raised in the UK and here in Zambia. Very few girls have the opportunity to finish formal education and a miniscule proportion secure a degree. Working in water and sanitation I am informed that one key issue is that there are limited sanitation facilities for girls. If there is no toilet at school boys are still able relieve themselves, girls on the other hand cannot. If it is the ‘wrong time of the month’ they stand no chance. As a result a number of them are prevented from going to school. In addition the female’s role is to ensure the house is in order, fetch water and cook. Those who live in rural areas have to walk long distances to collect water, this again takes them out of school. Education for females is also deemed less important as essentially most Zambian men- and I know there are modern Zambian men who do not agree with this but suspect that number is still low- would not want a wife who was more successful them then. A male Zambian friend the other day said he could not cope if his wife got home after him and his dinner was not on the table. This was not wishful thinking like most Western men might have but a serious statement.

Most of my female Zambian friends are actually strong women who work hard and seem to be empowered until you discover that they might leave an event they are at to go home and cook lunch for their husband as it would be completely unacceptable for him to cook for himself. When getting married here in Zambia your fiancé must pay your father a dowry, normally of goats or cows depending on your tribe. Once married you are then the property of your husband, this is not in remote villages but actually very much the case here. One female Zambian friend was explaining that in some Zambian tribes when you and your husband have had sex the wife must get out of bed, get on her knees cup her hands and thank her husband!!

This weekend I endured a 7.5 hour bus ride to another part of Zambia for a friend’s birthday. I was the only musungo there and it was an interesting education on women’s roles in society here. Even at a party women should not be sat with men talking but should be sat together. If there are older men in attendance they are served their meals by a women whilst all other guests served themselves. A number of the male guests throughout the party would point out that there beer was empty. At first I dutifully fetched them a new drink until I realised, erm they had legs and arms and could walk to the fridge themselves. When I pointed this out the looks of horror on their faces was priceless.

Then on the Sunday more guests arrived for lunch. I helped one of the girls prepare the food. A meal of various vegetable dishes, nshima (colourless play dough) and chicken which is first boiled and then fried is prepared on two electric rings taking some time to prepare everything. Then the men are served and the women wait...... if there is any food left they are then able to eat. Women are not allowed to sit with the men to eat but must eat in another room. It makes no difference if you are a western woman or Zambian the treatment is the same. Then the women have to clean up. This was all just too much for me. The suggestion that I eat in my room seemed to push all sorts of buttons and I had to evac before I held a protest of the archaic behaviour. I left the house and went for a walk until I found a nice bar, sat under a tree for few hours fuming at the situation and the audacity of it all.

Zambia is a country I love with some amazing cultural practises but the way women are treated here generally makes my blood boil. Having gone to an all girls school and being told that we were capable of achieving anything we wanted too it is utterly depressing to see the opposite happening here in Zambia. Although I totally get that men are hunter gatherers and women are nurturers there is a huge difference between wanting to provide and look after and being forced too. I think I would make a terrible Zambian wife but I have the upmost respect for Zambian women and all that they do.

Ending on a little local news here about a 26 year old woman who has interesting views on standing up for herself is taking her 60 year old husband to court for not having enough sex with her. Brilliant.